1. When someone you care about feels distant, what happens inside you?

A. I start wondering what I did wrong and want to fix it quickly.

B. I give them space and focus on my own world.

C. Part of me wants closeness but another part shuts down or panics.

D. I check in openly and assume we’ll work through it.

2. In a new relationship, what’s your biggest internal question?

A. “Will they choose me and keep choosing me?”

B. “Will this limit my space or independence?”

C. “Is this safe… or am I about to get hurt again?”

D. “Can we grow together as two whole people?”

3. When conflict comes up, how do you respond?

A. I feel anxious and try to repair things immediately.

B. I withdraw and need breathing room.

C. I feel triggered and may react intensely or unpredictably.

D. I address it directly and stay grounded.

4. What’s your core desire in love?

A. To feel wanted, chosen, and emotionally safe.

B. To feel free while still being connected.

C. To feel held without losing myself or being harmed.

D. To feel seen, trusted, and mutually supported.

5. If your partner takes longer than usual to reply…

A. I spiral or start writing drafts in my head.

B. I don’t worry—I’m probably busy too.

C. I flip between “they don’t care” and “I don’t care either.”

D. I assume there’s a simple reason and carry on.

6. When someone tries to get emotionally closer:

A. I’m eager but worried they’ll pull away.

B. I tense up and keep some distance.

C. I crave it but question if it’s real or safe.

D. I welcome it without losing myself.

7. When relationships shift or deepen:

A. I monitor the connection closely for signs of change.

B. I feel pressure and might pull back.

C. I go back and forth between chasing and freezing.

D. I communicate needs and move with the rhythm.

8. What makes you feel most unsettled?

A. Silence, distance, or unclear signals.

B. Feeling obligated or emotionally cornered.

C. Mixed messages and emotional inconsistencies.

D. Dishonesty or lack of transparency.

9. When love feels uncertain:

A. I cling tighter or seek reassurance.

B. I detach to regain control.

C. I might lash out or collapse emotionally.

D. I ask questions and stay present.

10. What scares you most about commitment?

A. Being left after giving my heart.

B. Losing my autonomy or identity.

C. Being hurt while trying to attach.

D. Not much. I am confident in commitment.

11. When someone disappoints you:

A. I assume I caused it or need to fix it.

B. I withdraw and refocus on myself.

C. I feel confused, angry, or abandoned.

D. I share how I feel and stay curious.

12. How do you handle reassurance?

A. I need it often to feel loved.

B. I rarely ask for it and may dismiss it.

C. I want it but don’t always believe it.

D. I receive it without losing self-trust.

13. When you imagine long-term partnership:

A. I picture closeness and merging lives.

B. I picture togetherness with lots of space.

C. I picture love but also conflict or fear.

D. I picture mutual loving kindness and interdependence.

14. Your inner voice during misunderstandings:

A. “Fix this fast before it gets worse.”

B. “I’m not dealing with this right now.”

C. “I don’t know whether to run or cling.”

D. “Let’s talk through it and understand each other”

15. How do you respond to praise or affection?

A. I soak it up but still crave more.

B. I downplay it or brush it off.

C. I doubt it or swing between needing and rejecting it.

D. I receive it with appreciation and gratitude.

16. Your relationship rhythm tends to be:

A. Pursuing, checking in, caretaking.

B. Independent, self-contained, observant.

C. Intensely in/out, emotional swings.

D. Responsive, reciprocal, honest.

17. If someone expresses strong feelings for you:

A. I feel both relieved and anxious.

B. I feel flattered but guarded.

C. I feel excited and overwhelmed.

D. I feel open and clear.

18. You’re most triggered by:

A. Emotional withdrawal.

B. Emotional demands.

C. Mixed signals or instability.

D. Disconnection or unkindness.

19. Your communication pattern:

A. Frequent check-ins and emotional sharing.

B. Minimal, practical, selective.

C. Hot-cold, intense then avoidant.

D. Clear, open, balanced, and curious

20. When someone sets a boundary with you:

A. I worry they’re pulling away.

B. I relax because separation feels comfortable.

C. I feel both rejection and relief.

D. I honor peoples choices.

21. When you set boundaries:

A. I’m afraid they’ll leave.

B. I do it easily and unapologetically.

C. I struggle, fearing both closeness and pushback.

D. I speak clearly and stay connected.

22. When emotions rise in you:

A. I express quickly and visibly.

B. I retreat and process alone.

C. I feel overwhelmed, unsure what to do.

D. I recognize and move them through me.

23. What do you most crave in love?

A. Loyalty and reassurance.

B. Respect for my space.

C. Safety without pressure.

D. Growth and expansion.

24. When someone gets upset with you:

A. I immediately worry I’ve ruined things.

B. I pull away to avoid being cornered.

C. I feel attacked and react big or shut down.

D. I listen and stay grounded.

25. Your biggest wound in relationships:

A. Fear of being unwanted or abandoned.

B. Fear of being consumed or controlled.

C. Fear of chaos, betrayal, and emotional whiplash.

D. Fear of losing authenticity or alignment.